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"Excuse me, would you mind if I passed?" The woman, who was slightly overweight, probably about seventy years old, and trying to maneuver a large shopping cart down the aisle, asked the little girl. The parents of this little girl, who looked about five, were looking at floor lamps while their daughter was rearranging folding chairs down on the other end of the aisle. The little girl didn't say a word when the elderly lady asked her to move. She just picked up another chair and placed it behind the others. "Little girl," the lady said in a warm and encouraging voice, "may I please get by?" The little girl wasn't about to move out of the way and disrupt her activity. I happened to witness this from the parent end of the aisle where I had a perfect view of what was taking place. Maybe the parents were unaware of what was happening so I lightly said, "Excuse me, but your little girl seems to be blocking the aisle and that lady would like to get by." I smiled as I tried not to judge these people for their lack of attention to what their daughter was doing. The mother looked up for a moment and said, "Honey, tell the lady to go around you." Shocked by the mother's words, I almost dropped my handbag. Before I knew I was moving, I had grabbed several of the chairs from the aisle, and began to clear the way for this older lady who was beginning to look alarmingly like my own mother! "That's my train!" the little girl exclaimed in a high-pitched voice as I swiftly propped each chair up against the aisle to clear the way. "No it isn't," I said very sweetly, "these are chairs that are blocking people's way and they don't belong in the middle of the aisle." "Mommy, make her stop!" screamed the little girl as I continued to stack the chairs. The older woman looked at me in gratitude as she pushed her cart past us and slowly headed toward the front of the store. "What do you think you're doing?" the mother asked. "I would ask you the same thing," I asked her back. Then I began thinking to myself. "Is it me? Or is this woman really out of line here?" I absolutely hate confrontations and try very hard to be gracious even when I witness rudeness. This time though, I couldn't let this spoiled little girl and her selfish mother force a woman who looked tired and elderly to go the long way just because they didn't want to move. I pulled my shoulders back and lifted my chin. I knew it wasn't me this time. The mother backed down and grabbed her daughter by the hand. "Some people are just rude," she said as she looked back over her shoulder at me. Why is it that when we are confronted with something we don't like, we blame it on the rudeness of other people? Time and time again I've heard people complain about others in the most disparaging way as they lament the other person's lack of manners. How many of those same people would recognize the rudeness that rests in them? Here are a couple of points to keep in mind before you call someone rude. 1. Is the person being rude or merely asking for something they rightly should have? 2. Did they mean to offend or simply to have action taken? 3. Are you upset because there was a grain of truth in what happened? Most of the time, or so I'd like to believe, most people aren't being rude, they are simply unaware. If this woman glanced up and was just happy her daughter wasn't hurting anything nor bugging her, what harm would it do to let her play? Maybe she didn't see that the elderly lady was moving so slow or looked so tired. Maybe I over reacted (it's happened before) but if we don't all start taking the responsibility to be kind, to be gracious, to use etiquette, manners and courtesy, then what kind of a society have we become? An unaware and selfish society that accuses others of rudeness when confronted with the truth...that's what! I wish all of them blessings and I know that I helped the elderly woman; I imagine I gave the mother something to talk about and I feel better for making a stand, even a small one, and for becoming a bit more aware. After reading this, I hope we all are more aware - it will sure make shopping more pleasant!
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